The Driver's License Test, Just the Beginning of the Insanity

I have been a part of some ridiculous things in my day.  And l live in China so, I have probably been a part of more ridiculous things than you have.  I recently got my driver’s license – and this by far tops the ridiculous list.  It is ridiculous on so many levels, let’s see if I can count the ways…
There is a study guide to prepare for the test.   As a foreigner who holds a foreign driver’s license I was exempt from the driving portion of the test so I only had to take the written portion.  No sweat, right?  That’s what I thought…until I looked at the study guide.  The study guide is 114 pages.  Large pages, 8.5x11 pages.  Each page contains 12 questions, which the total to around 1400 questions!  The study guide is indicative of the Chinese educational philosophy. Rote learning is the major problem with the Chinese educational system.  It is all about the tests, so that is what they teach.  The driver’s license study guide is exactly the same.  In fact, the book does not teach any of the rules of the road. The book is 1400 true/false and multiple choice questions.  There are many instances where the book gives a question which has a false answer, but nowhere in the book does it tell you what the correct answer is!  Ridiculous!    
Maybe you are thinking, “yeah, but they’re driving questions, how hard can they be?”  I was thinking the same thing until I saw the content of the study guide.  It would be ungrateful of me to complain about the English study guide, but I am going to do it anyway.  If there were no English study guide I would not have my license, so I am grateful that such a thing exists.  However, the quality of the English in the study guide is very much representative of most things in China – haphazardly slapped together and deemed “good enough”. We used to laugh at the “Engrish” but we used to it by now.  Sometimes the misspellings and lack of an English editor can make for really funny pictures.  In this case it just made for a very difficult test.  You can find examples below in the practice test.  I have no idea what it means to “pass alternately”, and there were 2 questions with that answer the first time I took the test…and I missed both of them…which is why I failed.
                If you were to sit down and take the test without even looking at the study guide you would probably get 40-50 correct out of 100.  Here is the kicker – you have to get a 90 to pass!  About half of the questions are no-brainers.  Another 30% are tricky because the English was written by someone who has never actually spoken English with a native English speaker.  The final 20% are absolutely, totally, laughably ridiculous.  If Mel Brooks were to make a movie about taking a driver’s license test in China he probably would have made up questions like this.  You wouldn’t believe me if I paraphrased so here they are below, word for word from the book.  The answers are at the end so you can see how you did:
                The final factor (at least the final factor I will write about, the number of factors is unlimited) that makes this the most ridiculous thing I have ever been a part of is the contradiction – what you see on the roads and what you read in the test book do not jive.  For 2 years I actually thought some of the rules of the road are different here.  I was wrong.  The rules are, for the most part, the same, but there is no accountability on the road which lends itself to an anarchic style of driving.  It took me 1400 questions worth of study guide to sift through what is practiced on the roads and what is going to be the correct answer on the test.
                I failed the test the first time.  I have never failed anything in my life. This was a tough blow to my ego.  It was also a tough blow for the family because we were really looking forward to getting a car and it was getting colder every day (this was November), and we had to wait 2 weeks to retake the test.  I say that I failed the test but I really didn’t do too bad – I got an 85.  For most people that is a B, and B’s are not bad.  It takes a 90 to pass.  I took the test again 2 weeks later and I got a 90 on the nose!
                If you are wondering how you would do, here is a sample test.  There are 10 questions so you have to get 9 right.  The answers are below.  Email or facebook me and let me know how you did.  If you passed then I will let you drive my car when you come to China.
1. When running through a road section or intersection where lanes are reduced, the motorized vehicle should _______.
a. Move to another lane and overtake.
b. Pass alternately.
2. When driving, the driver should remind the passengers to throw the garbage__________.
a. To the unmanned road
b. Into the garbage bin (bag) in the vehicle
3. T/F - It is not safe for a woman driver to wear high heels to drive a vehicle.
4. T/F - When a head-on collision is unavoidable, the driver should free the steering wheel, raise the legs and lie sideward on the right seat at the moment of the head-on collision. This can ensure his body is not struck by the steering wheel.
5. When a vehicle rolls continuously to a deep ditch, the driver should swiftly hide his body to the lower space in front of his seat, hold ____________ to stabilize his body so that his body will not roll and get hurt.
a. The steering column
b. The steering wheel
6. T/F - When the driver senses he will inevitably be thrown out of the vehicle, he should violently straighten both his legs to increase the force of being thrown out and jump out of the vehicle.
7. T/F - When putting out a fire, the driver should refrain from breathing through mouth or crying loudly. Otherwise, the fire and smoke will scorch the upper respiratory tract.
8. When there is bleeding in an upper limb or shank without bone fracture or joint damage, the bleeding can be stopped by _________.
a. Compression dressing
b. Cushioned limb folding
9. T/F - When sing bondage to dress a wounded person, the know should be made neither above the would nor at the back of the body. Otherwise, the wounded person will feel uncomfortable when sleeping.
10. T/F - When a driver escaping from a fire disaster is unable to open the door of the driver’s cab or the door of the vehicle, he should smash the windscreen to escape.

Answers:
1. B 2. B 3. T 4. T 5. A 6. T 7. T 8. B 9. T 10. F

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