The Philosophy of Not Finding Out
My wife is currently in labor and will give birth to our 4th child sometime today (hopefully). We do not know if it is a boy or a girl. We voluntarily told the ultrasound tech that we did not want her to “go between the legs.”
This might all sound a bit over-stated but I feel the need to explain our decision as we are a dying breed. We have been made to feel radical and ridiculous (my brother actually asked us if this was an “Amish” decision), dinosaurs, backwards, like someone who would still insist on using a typewriter. I have had lots of friends have babies in the last 10 years and I know of one couple with one child who did not “found out”. Here is my message to the world - you all are missing out!
The excitement we are feeling right now in anticipation of the birth of this baby of unknown gender is a feeling the rest of you have never known. Understand this - its not just that I didn’t find out the gender of my child, I am on a crusade to change the culture! All of you finder outers are scoffing right now. “That same excitement can be felt leading up to the ultrasound,” you say with your noses snootily tilted upward. And for what? So the nursery can be painted and you can have a full stock of gender specific clothes? So you only have to pick one name instead of two? Listen, I have plenty of time to buy clothes and paint rooms (when Keegan was born, our family painted the nursery while we were still in the hospital - thanks guys).
It’s not that we are old school or technologically averse, we are excitement junkies. We love adventure. Mystery is the spice of life.
This is my 4th child. We found out with #3, and I still feel guilty about it - hypocritical, adulterous, etc. For those of you who are newly pregnant or will be pregnant in the future, take my word for it, it’s way more fun this way. You will be tempted by the ease and immediacy of the ultrasound telling you at 20 weeks. You will be swayed by the culture of “everyone else is doing it.” Is there much else in life where the shortest and easiest route is the best route? The road less traveled, french press is better than Keurig, the view is better at the mountaintop if you hiked there, and so on. So if you prefer instant mashed potatoes over the real thing and massed produced in a sweat shop over handmade, then by all means, find out early. But if you want to live life to the fullest, if you enjoy adventure, and if your life doesn’t always follow the path of least resistance, then join the revolution! You will thank when you get to go out into the waiting room and tell those present, “Its a _______!”
This might all sound a bit over-stated but I feel the need to explain our decision as we are a dying breed. We have been made to feel radical and ridiculous (my brother actually asked us if this was an “Amish” decision), dinosaurs, backwards, like someone who would still insist on using a typewriter. I have had lots of friends have babies in the last 10 years and I know of one couple with one child who did not “found out”. Here is my message to the world - you all are missing out!
The excitement we are feeling right now in anticipation of the birth of this baby of unknown gender is a feeling the rest of you have never known. Understand this - its not just that I didn’t find out the gender of my child, I am on a crusade to change the culture! All of you finder outers are scoffing right now. “That same excitement can be felt leading up to the ultrasound,” you say with your noses snootily tilted upward. And for what? So the nursery can be painted and you can have a full stock of gender specific clothes? So you only have to pick one name instead of two? Listen, I have plenty of time to buy clothes and paint rooms (when Keegan was born, our family painted the nursery while we were still in the hospital - thanks guys).
It’s not that we are old school or technologically averse, we are excitement junkies. We love adventure. Mystery is the spice of life.
This is my 4th child. We found out with #3, and I still feel guilty about it - hypocritical, adulterous, etc. For those of you who are newly pregnant or will be pregnant in the future, take my word for it, it’s way more fun this way. You will be tempted by the ease and immediacy of the ultrasound telling you at 20 weeks. You will be swayed by the culture of “everyone else is doing it.” Is there much else in life where the shortest and easiest route is the best route? The road less traveled, french press is better than Keurig, the view is better at the mountaintop if you hiked there, and so on. So if you prefer instant mashed potatoes over the real thing and massed produced in a sweat shop over handmade, then by all means, find out early. But if you want to live life to the fullest, if you enjoy adventure, and if your life doesn’t always follow the path of least resistance, then join the revolution! You will thank when you get to go out into the waiting room and tell those present, “Its a _______!”
We intentionally didn't find out until the moment our son was born. His room is painted white, with neutral Winnie the Pooh decorations. And we know all of his newborn clothes can be used by the next baby.
ReplyDeleteAnd I prefer instant mashed potatoes.
-Paul F.
Preach it, Jared. We've never found out nor intend to with this one. Patience...we don't HAVE to have it now...and just because you CAN, doesn't mean you have to or should. :-)
ReplyDeleteIn an upside-down world, a right-side-up man looks upside down.
Benjy
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p.s. Sorry, Paul...I prefer REAL mashed potatoes! :-)
Our first two were "surprises". Like you we intentionally looked away and told the doctor we did not want to know. They were both boys.
ReplyDeleteWe knew for the next two, of course they were 10 and 16 when they moved in, so there was less of a "surprise factor" there!