Are You Glad to be Home
People say dumb things. Especially in situations that are difficult or uncomfortable. Most people don’t know that a silent hug goes a long way. Now I’m not writing this post about anyone in particular, I’m still in China actually, but I know it is going to happen. I will be at church on Sunday morning and people will be very glad to see us. It has been a while. They have missed us. Their mouths will smile, then they will open, and stupid stuff just falls out. “How was China?” is the question they usually ask.
I don’t know what to do with that.
If I was at your home for dinner we could laugh over the ridiculous and interesting things we experienced, we could cry together about the needs of the Chinese people, and we could sit in awe discussing the glorious works He has done and is doing...but not in the lobby of the church. When asked this question over the next 2 months I will be polite and give a canned answer like, “it was great,” or maybe even go a little deeper and say, “my life will never be the same.”
Then there is the second question that is a bit easier to answer yet even more so indicates that the one asking the question does not get it:
“Are you glad to be home?”
Once again, in an effort to avoid being condescending or belittling people in the church lobby I will give a polite answer.
“Yes.”
But since I don’t want to have this conversation honestly in the hallway on Sunday morning I am going to post my honest response here:
“Not really. Of course, I am glad to see our families. We missed them in a way that was at times physically painful, and the joy of being with those you love most beats all. Sure, it is fun eating Taco Bell again. I like watching baseball games on TV in the evening instead of at 7am. Blue skies are even more beautiful than I remember. But honestly, I’m not really glad to be back...not yet anyway. Just last week I said goodbye to 70 kids, some of whom we have seen grow into maturity, others we have seen rescued from lives that were otherwise defined by despair. I just left the most spiritually rewarding job I can imagine, which is one of the most life giving places I have ever even heard of. With tears we said goodbye to our brothers and sisters who risk much just to "be together" and we will be joining fellowships that fight amongst themselves over music, Sunday attire, and what is "relevant" (read: cool). I mean come on guys, when was grace, unconditional love, and being a servant ever "irrelevant." And by the way, I am now homeless and unemployed. I know this is where He is leading us but no, I can’t say that I am glad to be home...I feel like I just left home.”
I don’t know what to do with that.
If I was at your home for dinner we could laugh over the ridiculous and interesting things we experienced, we could cry together about the needs of the Chinese people, and we could sit in awe discussing the glorious works He has done and is doing...but not in the lobby of the church. When asked this question over the next 2 months I will be polite and give a canned answer like, “it was great,” or maybe even go a little deeper and say, “my life will never be the same.”
Then there is the second question that is a bit easier to answer yet even more so indicates that the one asking the question does not get it:
“Are you glad to be home?”
Once again, in an effort to avoid being condescending or belittling people in the church lobby I will give a polite answer.
“Yes.”
But since I don’t want to have this conversation honestly in the hallway on Sunday morning I am going to post my honest response here:
“Not really. Of course, I am glad to see our families. We missed them in a way that was at times physically painful, and the joy of being with those you love most beats all. Sure, it is fun eating Taco Bell again. I like watching baseball games on TV in the evening instead of at 7am. Blue skies are even more beautiful than I remember. But honestly, I’m not really glad to be back...not yet anyway. Just last week I said goodbye to 70 kids, some of whom we have seen grow into maturity, others we have seen rescued from lives that were otherwise defined by despair. I just left the most spiritually rewarding job I can imagine, which is one of the most life giving places I have ever even heard of. With tears we said goodbye to our brothers and sisters who risk much just to "be together" and we will be joining fellowships that fight amongst themselves over music, Sunday attire, and what is "relevant" (read: cool). I mean come on guys, when was grace, unconditional love, and being a servant ever "irrelevant." And by the way, I am now homeless and unemployed. I know this is where He is leading us but no, I can’t say that I am glad to be home...I feel like I just left home.”
Well said! I like the "my life will never be the same response." I also think the best response to "Are you glad to be home?" is "Define home."
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